Deserving
by ZiverNavyCIS
Summary: Post Watershed. "We both deserve more." - There are still some emotional barriers that forces Kate and Rick to think through, is this what they want? He is a part of her, he can't deny that, and they both deserved each other.


**A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first Castle related one-shot (I always written for NCIS) - Post Watershed. This one-shot goes through the thought processes of Kate and Rick :) For my friend, Brooke because she deserves to be made happy! Hope you enjoy this and please review! - Sharmane**

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_"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"_

These seven words left his lips, as his face softened to one of love and sincerity. His eyes pierced deeply into hers and his fingers trembled holding the velvet box. The ring glittered brightly in the rays of sun, the wind gently whipped her curls. The world ceased to exist, and only the two them were in sharp focus. On bended knee, his heart beat nervously for a reply.

The words were circling her mind, as she tried to process everything he just said. Her mouth dropped slightly, for she was at a loss of what to say and feel. She was just... shocked. Her gaze slowly fell onto the ring, her mind racing for an answer.

_"We both deserve more." _

But there are so much doubts, so much loopholes they have to fix. Were they ready for this step, this permanent promise in their lives? She might have thought about it, dream about when they were married but it was just that. A dream. A dream she never considered at all.

Castle on a bended knee, with a ring is real. This is reality. She found herself with no words to say. Hope faded from his eyes, his face more dejected. His shoulders slumped slightly, and guilt tore her heart.

"Rick..I.." She stammers, her lips quivering.

_This should be easy, Kate. Where is your answer?_

"You what?" He asked firmly, the ring still in front of him, still open for an answer. "It is just a yes or no question, Kate."

"I got the job, Rick."

His face crumpled, as the strings holding it up were cut off by her words - It was a stab to the heart, one he could not bear. After _all_ they've been through, is this so hard to answer? Five years, he loved her. One year ago, she told him that even when close to dying - _she wanted him._ Is that good enough a reason to say yes? He gently closed the box, as his arm slowly fell. Sitting on the swing next to her, he sighed brokenly.

"Is that your way of saying no, Kate?"

The way he said her name with such tender affection, broke her heart as it shattered into a million pieces - it was said with so much _love._ And all the love, all the affection, all the forgiveness slipped away from his soul. But was it her way of saying _no_? Did she truly want this job, or is it because of_ them?_ Their_ relationship?_

Was taking this job her way of escaping from their relationship? She doesn't know, but deep down her heart, it may the truth. Once, she confessed to him that she always has one foot on the door, so she could quickly get out of a relationship before she got hurt. Maybe this job offer was her way of being afraid to get hurt, maybe she was afraid that - with them heading nowhere, she might get hurt.

She _lied_ to him, she kept secrets from him. She was the one at fault making the thread holding them together ready to snap.

"Rick, I kept secrets from you, I lied." Confessing wholeheartedly, she watched as his hand raised up and he continued her words, "It doesn't bother me."

This is Kate Beckett standing right before him. If he wants to commit to her, he must accept that she will always have those steel barriers surrounding her heart, he must accept that these walls will always be _a part of her._ A part of her he must _accept_. Ever since her mum died, these walls serves to protect a _very_ delicate heart, and these walls taught her to lie. He understands, he understood for five whole years and as much as he detests it - It was a part of her and_ she is a part of him._

And after these five years, these are the very barriers that_ pushed_ their relationship to the very limits. It causes them to question their status, it_ forces_ them to think everything through.

But this is Beckett and he expects nothing less.

"But I lied to you. I kept secrets. Can we go on further like this? I don't know where is our relationship is going."

"This. This ring._ This_ proposal it is _where_ we are going, Kate. I don't want any more doubts about what we have. Because five years, everything we've been through together. I don't care if you got the job or you accept it. _I want you. I want us._" He just wants her to acknowledge that they both deserve more, that their relationship needs to be defined - She loves him and he loves her.

_Why is this a struggle Kate? He told you that he wants you. You told him you wanted him before. What has changed? What changed? Do you still want him? Do you? He told you that job is not to affect his love for you. He loves you the same._

And she knew, this is a man who demands nothing from her except unconditional love, except a relationship firmly anchored to the ground. Was she about to_ forsake_ everything they have for the job? Does she really want the job or him?

The longer she remained without a definite reply, the more the thread holding them together grew tighter, ready to snap.

"Beckett, are you going to walk away from five years of love? I want to define what we have, I hope that we can all work everything out, be together - And this package covers everything. I forgave you for keeping secrets, I don't care if you got the job or not. But I want you consider this. And if you going to walk away, I respect that you want to be someone more. I respect it."

_He is here, showing his unconditional love, accepting your every fault, Kate. What are you doing?_

'So Kate," His voice breaking, his eyes with unshed tears, "I will ask again. Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?" And once more, the box opened to reveal a sacred promise.

Memories of their love played vividly in her head.

_"Stay with me, Kate."_

_"Even now I am still amazed at your depths of your strength, your heart, and your hotness."_

_"I just don't want to see you throw your life away."_

_"You could be happy Kate, you deserve to be happy, but you are afraid."_

They deserved to be happy.

_"We both deserve more."_

Biting her lips, she knew. She knew and realized that if he could give her unconditional acceptance, unconditional love - she could do the same. And she wants to do the same.

"I'm sorry, Rick, for everything. I mean it. I will never lie you again. We will be brutally honest from now on." She saw his arm drooping a little and replied with all assurance.

"Yes, Rick. Yes, I will marry you."

**FIN. **


End file.
